These Feelings
by BleedingHug
Summary: Stan and Kyle are both confused, and after a talk at 2 in the morning, They both discover something new that they didn't know about each other. What will their parents think of all this? Will get angsty towards the end.


**Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or anything in it, yada, yada, yada...**

_Chapter 1: Discovery_

It was about 2 o'clock on a Saturday morning when it all began. We were both lying down in Kyle's warm, yet dark, depressing room. The only source of light was the brightly shining moonlight that peeked through the deep forest green curtains covering the glass window behind it. I was lying right next to my super best friend. The moonlight made his locks glisten. All I could do was stare. Stare and Think. He had been asleep for about three hours, while myself, got zilch. I had been thinking that whole time. Thinking about me. Thinking about Kyle. Thinking about me doing things to him. Things that no 9-year-old boy should even be thinking about. Definitely not about his best friend. Especially not his guy best friend. I had been thinking about these things a lot lately. About Kyle. I thought about us sitting together at Stark's Pond, sitting on the cold wooden bench, like I always had done with Wendy. I held him by my side as we sat. The wind would blow through our hair, and I would just push his auburn curls out of his face so I could see his brilliant emerald eyes. Every night, I would fantasize about Kyle. But why did I think about this? Why did I always think about kissing my best friend? Maybe I just wanted to know what it felt like. To have someone you could trust with your life to love you, and hold you. I wanted to know if Kyle had ever felt the same way. Or was I the only one who had ever felt as confused as I am now. I wanted answers.

Kyle was tossing and turning in his sleep. He looked like he was having a really bad nightmare. Or he was just really uncomfortable. A couple of times, he had called out my name, as if he wanted my help with something. It looked like he was going to wake up at any minute. When he did wake up, he shuddered and sat up quickly. He was panting heavily and jerked his head from left to right, scanning the room. I realised this, and quickly moved to his side.

"Kyle? What's wrong did you have a nightmare?"

"Yeah, it was really bad." He replied, his voice cracked slightly.

"What was it about?" I moved in closer to him, and pulled him into an embrace. "You can tell me."

Kyle was a bit edgy at first, but then he spoke up.

"I know it might sound pathetic, but it was fat ass. It was terrible"

It had to do with Cartman. No wonder he was like this.

"Go on. Come on Kye, you know you can tell me." I patted his red hair softly, as I tried to calm him down.

"It was like World War 2 all over again. He took my family and me and killed us all very brutally. He spared Ike because he wasn't blood related to me. He made Ike watch us all die!" He sobbed into my shoulder and my satin pyjama shirt started to damp. It made me think how bad Cartman actually got to Kyle. But something told me that that wasn't all.

"Oh, Kyle, it's okay. That's not ever going to happen." I hushed him. "I won't ever let him touch you. He'd have to go through me first. Now was that all that happened?"

"Well, no." He sniffed. "He killed you too. Made me watch it!" He exclaimed, as he sobbed deeper into my shoulder.

"Oh, Kyle. Shhhh. I'm right here. Cartman is not goanna kill anybody." We sat there for a couple of moments. I rocked him gently and hushed him, telling him everything was going to be okay. Finally, Kyle looked up from my shoulder, and looked me straight in the eyes.

"Why do you care so much Stan?" He asked, still sniffling a bit.

"Care about what?"

"About me. And how I feel."

"Well, because you're my super best friend."

We sat there in silence for a couple more moments.

"Why?" Kyle eventually asked.

"What?"

"Why are we super best friends?"

"What do you mean, Kyle?"

"Well look Stan. Look at how we are right now. You are sitting here holding me, hushing me, letting me cry into you. Why do you care so much?"

"Well for starters, Cartman is a fucking sociopath. Secondly, you are crying, so what else can I do? And third, you are my super best friend."

"Yeah I know." He sighed. "But why can't we be more?" He said gently as he rested his head on my chest.

I was more confused about what he had said. So he felt the same way that I did too?

"What are you saying, Kyle?" I asked. I lifted his chin up so our eyes were locked once more.

"Stan." He swatted my hand and looked away. "I'm trying to say that I've had some feelings. They are different feelings. Feelings I've never felt before. About anyone. And I'm just… Curious." He started to fiddle with his thumbs.

"You're not alone. I feel like that too." I said. I lifted my hand to his damp cheek and brushed away a lone tear away with my thumb. "Did you ever feel like doing this?" I inched closer to him. I could feel his warm breath trickle on my cheek. We both leaned in and I kissed him. His lips were smooth and soft, nothing like I had ever felt before. Soon after, he started to kiss back. It was quite spectacular really. Like a fireworks display, as some people might describe, but a billion times better. It didn't last long, but it was still amazing. After we broke it off, we looked into each other's eyes. I lifted my hand once again and caressed his cheek.

"That's exactly what I felt like doing."

I smiled, and I pulled closer to him, and hugged him. "Maybe we should try get some sleep now."

He nodded, and we both got under the covers. We lay next to each other and we put our arms around one another. We could both sleep peacefully knowing that the other was right there. Kyle was just about to drift off into a slumber, before he spoke up.

"Hey, Stan?" He asked, sleepily.

"Yes?"

"What are we now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm still a little confused."

"About what?"

"Well, this is wrong. I'm not meant to feel this way about my best friend, who just so happens to be a guy." Those words kinda hurt me. I felt like he didn't want me anymore. But I was confused myself.

"Look, I'm just as confused as you are, I don't know if I should even feel like this towards you, but I do. I have been told practically all my life that gays are okay, but I just don't know how my parents would take it, or if they would approve. I don't think that they would want a gay son."

"You're right. My mom would flip if she ever found out about this. Should we keep this a secret for now?"

"Yeah, I think that's best. Just until we figure out if we should continue this, or if it's wrong."

"Yeah."

"Kay, now lets try to get some sleep."

"Okay, goodnight, Stan."

"Goodnight."

**A/N: I don't know why, but I just really like angsty stories. This one isn't really ansty though... Just yet! But it will. It will be fluffy and angsty. For the people that like that sorta stuff like me. Please review it? Reviews make me happy. Well, they make everyone happy, I would think. Anyways, yes, next chapter shall be up soon! Or whenever I can be bothered to write it :P **


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